The holiday present that I never want to buy



As the final countdown to the holiday season concludes, I continue to put off buying one particular present. Every year, this holiday present is the last one on my list. I know that I could cross it off first. The holiday present never changes (the price might change though.) Still, just the thought of placing the order can make me put it off for another couple of days. I know that the last possible day that I can order this holiday present is December 22. In the end, I will always place the order. I just wish that I was purchasing something else every year. But, I never will; the holiday present will always remain the same. So, today I will purchase the floral bouquet for my parent’s headstone.

While I am a mom and a wife, I could also be labeled an orphan. My parents died before I was married, before I had my children. Without any siblings or other family, my parents were my only family. When they passed away, I was on my own. There is a hole in my life that can never be replaced.
Before people start saying that I am wallowing in depression, sadness or another adjective, I am not asking for your sympathy, condolences or other form of affirmation. I am writing this post to encourage people to be a little thoughtful this holiday season.

During the holidays many people go over the top, over-spend or overindulge. While I am not criticizing people’s choices, I would ask that everyone not assume that the holidays are the same for everyone.  If someone doesn’t want to join in the neighborhood cookie exchange, don’t force them into going. If someone doesn’t want to listen to Christmas carols 24/7, let them change the channel. If someone doesn’t want to the fifth holiday party, let them stay home. Don’t force your wants onto someone else.

The holidays in my home can be difficult for me. While I want to share stories, memories and experiences from my youth with my kids, it can make me a little sad. From the special ornaments that my dad and I collected to a special food that we ate every year, I long to make those connections with my children. When the kids were younger, the stories and memories weren’t shared as often. The kids didn’t understand why telling a story would make me cry. But, as they have grown and they better understand, more memories are shared and I get less sad telling them. The hole in my life will never completely close, but it does get a little smaller.

As the holidays reach their triumphant close, I encourage everyone to take a moment in gratitude. Family, friends, health, life, or even the extra piece pie make our lives a little brighter and lighter. Now, time to call the florist and finish my holiday shopping.

16 comments:

  1. I can't even imagine how hard that has to be on you and I am sorry your parents passed so young and you ever have to do this.

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  2. ((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss... I can't even imagine it. Thank you for the gentle reminder. Hope this holiday season is Merry and Bright and that you and yours make some magnificent memories.

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  3. I can't even imagine how you feel. My husband is in the same spot you are and we always wait to buy this gift as well. Hugs and you have my prayers this season.

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  4. Holidays in our house are tough too so I totally understand. We actually have been married for 25 years and for the first 15 we didn't even celebrate Christmas on Christmas day - we did it a couple days later. Pretty much when we could get through the depression to actually do it. We are fortunate to have children who never seem too stressed about it. They don't wake up Christmas morning and dive into presents. We have always considered it a Christmas week and the stuff isn't going anywhere. When we feel like it - we deal with it. Outsiders can't quite figure it out but it works for us.

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  5. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through during the loss of your parents and the first several holidays without them. I know I would be lost without my parents and truly dread the day it happens!

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  6. ((hugs)) to you. Holidays are so hard when you are missing loved ones.

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  7. That makes me so sad, but it's also very dear that you make a point to do that each year.

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  8. I lost my father before he was born and I always felt that tug every now and again. I'm so sorry to hear you lost both parents. I bet you do make wonderful connections with your family now, and they will always remember. :)

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  9. I am sorry about your loss. Looks like you are blessed with a family of your own, thank you for the reminder about what is important! Merry Christmas!

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  10. So sorry for your loss. We try to instill the value of family and memories with our kids every holiday. Being kind to others and sensitive is also very important.

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to go through the holidays without the ones you love. Glad you are sharing those memories with your children.

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  12. I'm so sorry for your loss. But you bring up a very important point. It's easy to forget what others may be going through.

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  13. This is the first year that I am going to be without both parents but I however do have a family and I'm with you. I don't force Christmas on any one.

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  14. Holidays change as relationships change. You just have to celebrate the best you are able to. <3

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  15. This made me teary. Thanks so much for sharing what a lot of people feel but don't want to talk about.

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  16. I am very sorry for your loss, it is very hard to have a good holiday without the ones you love. But you bring up the most important meaning of Christmas that most people tend to forget.. just being able to be with your family and creating memories as well as remembering the ones you had with your loved ones in the past.

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